Just call me the human roller coaster

OK, life does look better in the morning. Obviously I have emotional things going on that aren't really part of this blog, but in a way they are.

It's hard to find the words. You know when you are working you have to get up and go to work and you pretty much try to forget all the personal stuff. It goes in its own little box to be taken out again when you get home. At least that is the way I operate. When you are a SAHM it all sort of builds up and there never seems to be any me time, or you join online forums and talk to other mothers. Or you start a blog and tell your personal secrets to complete strangers all over the world :).

As a hobby sewing is great, it gives me something creative to concentrate on. It is almost like a form of meditation, focusing my thoughts and energies and I feel relaxed and excited when I achieve something. What this week has taught me is that as a WAHM you have to push yourself and be disciplined. Of course I already knew that and it is easy to say, but it has been interesting to actually experience what it is like. There was no deadline except what I set for myself, there is no expectation that I be at my sewing machine the way there is in an outside job. When you don't feel like sewing there is always something else to do, and the nature of being a work at home mother is that they are all legitimate and even vital so it is easy to procrastinate. Deciding where your priorities lie can just become an exercise in guilt because there are so many demands on you.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that even in a job you really love there are times that you just don't feel like it. I think as a WAHM (or anyone self-employed) you really have to have the discipline or the motivation to keep going and get through those times. If it ever takes longer than a couple of days I think that will be my signal to leave. And think really hard about which priorities you will be moving down the list to fit WAHMing in, because it is long term and you can't necessarily pick them up easily.

Although personally, I don't care how far down cleaning goes ;).